Marriage advice for those engaged...:)?

Please share your words of wisdom %26amp; how long you've been married as well. Thanks:DMarriage advice for those engaged...:)?
Congratulations! You're about to take on the toughest job you've ever had. I was with my husband for more than 10 years before illness took him. We had some great times together and some really bad times when sticking together was the only thing that got us through.





Marriage is a lot of work. Sure, you're crazy in love now, but that will fade. It's up to you to decide right now what will replace it. If you just coast along expecting all the warmy-fluffy love feelings to just continue, then when they start to wane, you'll end up divorced.





But if you decide to create a life together that's meaningful and satisfying, you need to begin working now. Decide to support each other in your interests. You don't have to do everything together, but cheer each other on in sports, get excited about each other's hobbies, go to church together, choose a charity to work for together. The more things you do together and the more points of contact you have, the less likely you'll be to split apart.





But maintain your own individuality, too. While you can support your mate's hobbies, develop your own. Read interesting books. Make sure you're a good conversationalist. Eventually your evenings will be spent outside of the the bedroom and you'll need to be able to talk to each other.





One thing a lot of successful couples will tell you, have your own money. You should have a joint account to pay the bills and take care of household necessities, but you should also have your own money. Money that you can spend or save, without having to go through your spouse. So if you want a $200 pair of shoes (or you want to buy your mate a $200 pair of shoes), it comes out of your ';mad money';, not out of the joint account that pays for groceries.





Make important decisions together, before you get married. That means the big questions, especially those that will come up when you have children: will you have kids and if so, how many; will one of you stay home to raise the kids, which one; which religion will you embrace (it'll be important when you have kids); where will you spend big holidays? Develop a strategy for making decisions together. Make it a good strategy that doesn't include pouting on anyone's part.





Agree to disagree on some things. Lively debates can be fun and help keep your mind sharp and your marriage interesting, but know when to stop.





Most importantly, learn how to fight. You're not going to agree on everything and there will be some things you just can't agree to disagree on. You have to be able to work through the issue without devolving into name calling, sarcasm or pouting. This is a fundamental skill that's taught in any and every marriage seminar, counseling session or training class. Learn it the first time and save yourself a lot of heartache.





If you're looking for more guidance, try an Engaged Encounter weekend. You'll learn a lot about your partner and set yourselves up for a successful marriage. http://marriage.about.com/od/engagedenco鈥?/a>





Good luck!Marriage advice for those engaged...:)?
Married 17+ yrs, 4 kids. Marriage is give and take. You need to be open about your feelings and expectations. You have to be willing to hear the other person out. Honesty and respect are also necessary. You cannot always be right and you have to be willing to let things go once in awhile and to keep your mouth shut. You also need to have your own lives and interests. If you are nothing without your partner, then you are doomed to fail. You have to have a certain amount of independence and to be able to function on your own. Life doesn't end once a marriage takes place.
In the next few years you'll get the pleasure of falling out of infatuation and falling in love - real, true, deep love (which is much quieter). Don't give up true love, for the exciting, more obvious feelings of infatuation.





married 2 1/2 years.
be best friends with each other,talk about everything,hold hands,tell each other how much you love them,dont let anyone come first in your relationship your spouse is always first,do things together,dont make decisions without consulting the other first,learn to compromise,i have been married for 26 years and we are still in love,more so then we first married,good luck
I've been married for ten years. The only thing I would add is to take care of yourselves physically. Nothing kills a married sex-life faster than having one or both partners letting their bodies and appearance go.
We've been married for nearly 4 years, been together a total of over 10.





The best advice I can offer is to compromise on the issues you know perfectly well you won't win anyway. Pick your battles...there are certainly things that you will never see eye to eye on, but make sure that if you're going to start a fight over something, you REALLY stand behind those convictions.





Don't treat each other like dirt, and don't let the other treat you like a doormat. You are still your own person, so never let your spouse take advantage of you just because you're married.





Physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse do NOT equal love. If there's something happening that is hurting you, speak up. If you're afraid of irking your partner by expressing your displeasure over a situation, then there's a need for outside intervention.





NEVER let family influence your opinion of your spouse. Your spouse comes first, so cut those apron strings and stop being ';daddy's little girl.'; If there's ever a disagreement between family and your spouse, it is best to be on your spouse's side...or you may end up moving back in with your family!





It's ok to not LIKE your partner all the time, as long as you always LOVE your partner.





Finally, 100% of all marriages end in either divorce or death....it is entirely up to you which way it's going to be.





Best wishes!!
good luck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been married 6 years but been with him 20 years .. good luck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One important word: COMMUNICATION


Also, be prepared to say ';I'm sorry'; even when you know it is not your fault.


Say ';I love you'; everyday and make the first five minutes of contact meaningful (like when you wake up or when you get home from work).


I have been married for 7.5 years (with 2 kids) and we still hold hands, hug and laugh everyday!


I wish you the best...and remember marriage is work all the way (even for my in-laws and they have been married 41 years) so don't give up.
Know what you are getting into lol. My husband and I have been together since 1997. We lived together before we got married in 2001. We had our son as our witness at our wedding. Got married in the court house. We are still together altho we have been through some rough times together. I think the best thing for a relationship is communication. Always keep the lines of communication open. If you have a problem talk it out.
Learn to accept compromise.


Always allow each other their own space.


Don't wait until bedtime to discuss things that require thought, as you'll only get angry when you're tired.


When having kids, remember to give time to each other often.


Allow each of you to have your own tastes displayed in your home.


Live within your means. (Debt. can end a marriage.)


Remember, you don't have to keep up with the Jones's.


Strengthen your husband/wife around others by not arguing in public or around your children.


Live a convenient distance AWAY from your parents.
umm always comunicate and i have broken up yet and plzz good luck


stay


honest


loved


have fun


u have 1 of those days wen ur not felling good take care of him or her u know be happy





good luck
Congratulations!! I am divorced, but my experience has taught me that there were so many things I should have talked over with him before rushing into it!! Make sure you talk about money, religion, family and friends, children, future plans for at least the next 5 years and in the long run too like retirement, etc...good luck and congratulations again!
My advice, and I'm not trying to be funny at all, RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND.
You should love and cherish each other. Forgive and forget about the past mistakes. Do not compare your patner to any person because he/she is the only person you have chosen on this earth to be your partner. Show humility to each other. Develop proper communication skills. Control and manage your finances together with honesty and faithfulness.
Dont forget to be friends first! Laugh often and have fun together!


Rachel - Married 5 years... Been with my husband since 2nd grade. (we are both 28 now)