I need help with my marriage? (thank you for all advice)?

I've been married for the past 5 years, things were perfect to begin with until my husband began verbally abusing me, it all started when he wanted to know everything about my ex boyfriend, i just wasn't comfartable talking about it but he began mentally bullying so I told him. From that day he got jelous, punched me said I should have told everything about my life, he called me all sorts and threatened he'll kill me if I did anything that he wouldn't like. Everyday i try my best to keep him happy so he don't get angry with me but today his anger broke out, I lost all my confidence, I can't talk up for myself and I fear how my life would progress in the future. I had goals in life but they seem a distant away now. I don't have friends or family near me. I'm tottaly alone. My husband don't let me meet my old friends at all, go out, I can't meet new people and I can't do anything that I like. I want help as to how I could leave him and be who I was again, but I don't know how.I need help with my marriage? (thank you for all advice)?
My heart goes out to you. My sisters endured that abuse for years (black eyes, broken body parts, etc..). We (family) were supportive and encouraged them to leave. Sometime they left, but they always went back. Both felt they could change their husbands, because after all, the ';I'm sorry'; %26amp; ';it wont happended again'; always followed . Years later.... they finally got the strength to leave them. Unfortunately, my best friend never got the chance to leave...during her planning to leave her abusive relationship, she lost her life to domestic violence. So here's my suggestion to you: 1) Leave %26amp; leave now, the abuse will only get worst and may cost you your life. 2). If you work or have access to a phone contact a supportive family member, friend or coworker and let them know what's going on. Even if you had a falling out with them, they love you and dont want to see you abused. If you dont have acces to a phone, email them. Do you have access to cash? Even if its a little, start putting money in an account %26amp; get a post office box so your statement goes there. Save up enough to get a bus or plane ticket to your family %26amp; get out. 3) Right now you are scared, frieghten and probably still praying/hoping he will change. Or that things will get better. That's natural, cause you love him - you married him. But, when you get tired of this abuse, I mean really really tired, you will walk out with the clothes on your back, go to the police station %26amp; NEVER look back. You dont deserve to be abuse by anyone, especially not the man who promsed to love %26amp; cherish you. Now it's up to you.......love yourself and begin to focus on you %26amp; your safety. (You are stronger than you think). You've reached out for others to help you - now it's time to help yourself. Hope this helps and please, please be careful (he may know you are planning to leave).





P.S. Dont second doubt yourself. You did not cause him to abuse you. Take no responsibility for his abusive behavior. Your are a victim, when you do leave and all this is behind you - you will become a survivor!I need help with my marriage? (thank you for all advice)?
In your local yellow pages, there should be numbers listed for women's shelters. Call them, explain you are scared for your life and they will help you come up with a plan to leave as safely as possible.


If he attacks you again, you can also call the police. He will be arrested for assault and removed from your home. That would give you a chance to leave and go to where your family is.
I have been in such relationship. Its a distructive relationship especially for you .My advice to you is : leave him ( do it secretly without telling him) and never go back. Don't give him another chance. The moment he threatened to kill you he crossed the line - and you don't want to stay around and find out if he ment it or not!


Women's refuges can help you with this if you need a place to stay.
Go to a women's shelter, move out of your house, get a restraining order, find a job and move on with your life. Divorce him and take back your life!! There is so much better in life than what you are dealing with, you aren't living. You are existing and reacting to everything. He is dangerous and controlling.
Your situation sounds very serious. DO not wait. You need to make plans to leave. But be careful not to let your husband know anything. This is vital for your safety. Follow these steps. And call the hotline number for real help or questions.





1. Make a safety plan.





2. Talk with someone you trust. A teacher, a guidance counselor, a doctor, a friend or parent. Ask for and get help.





3. Contact the police or local domestic violence center.





National Domestic Viiolence Hotline:


(800) 799-SAFE
he is intent on destroying you. i would rather be on my own than spend another moment with him. you are walking on egg shells and i bet that he wouldnt treat a man like it. you are a valuable human being and not a punch bag. if you believe nothing else believe you are worth more than he says you are. i wish you luck and happiness x deb x
You said it was perfect to begin with, but then you said from day one he was jealous...


Anyway, this is not a good situation for you and it is only going to get worse. Either get some really good couples counselling or get the F### out of there.





Seriously
look, your husband clearly doesnt respect you and you are in a violent relationship. OK, so your first step is being able to contact friends or family, or call the police. He doesnt deserve you, take care, PLAY HIS GAME but when hes gone try and make your life.do you see what im saying?
Just go. Do you have friends and family you can stay with? Also, get a stay-away order, if he has already punched you, the violence may escalate if he finds out you want to leave.
You need to come up with a plan to leave him....do you have any friends or relatives that you can stay with until you get on your feet? Get away from him....from what you say, he sounds crazy. Oh, and if he puts his hands on you again, CALL THE FLIPPIN POLICE!!!
Well i think he is overprotected, u should sit down and talk if he give u any ****, walk out on him for a night of two, then talk to him and set things straight , but i don't no Wait he is like , good luck :) x
Just do it. Walk out the door and don't look back. No woman deserves to be hit. You need to leave asap. He's already hit you, it will never get better.


Just go, now.
He's a bully.. I say don't stand up to him are else he'll probably get more violent which will porbably lead to death. Instead wait till he goes out ring the police and RUN !
Pack a bag and leave. Don't tell him you're leaving, just leave. Go somewhere far away. This is the kind of guy who ends up killing his wife one day. You need to get out now before you have kids with him. I know it feels very hard to do - relationships like this are very hard to leave because we get addicted to the ';good'; times, the times when he's saying he's sorry and trying to make up for his behavior. You need to know that this will not end. HIs parents were abusive to him, and he never learned how to treat people well - he doesn't have it in him. Get out.
there are shelters for abused women in your area, find them. Men will often do this to women that have no family near by. you will find that you are not alone. Try to get help for him, what he is doing is not mentally healthy for neither one of you. He is trying to isolate you, in that way he can dominate you. Do everything you can to get free from his abuse, and get yourself some help. Can your Parents help you out? Get out. when he is not around, this is serious, and ca become life threatening
Call a women's shelter/domestic abuse hotline. The people there will help you find a safe place to live and help you with legal stuff. Pack your belongings when he isn't around and hide them in a closet/under the bed. When you are ready, call the hotline and a taxi and get out of there! The sooner you do this, the better. Your life is only going to get worse and I speak from experience. Believe me! Walk on eggshells till you get ready to flee so you don't tip him off. The anger will be awful if he finds out. I wish you the best of everything and good luck!
I'm so sorry you're going through this! He's isolating from your friends and family in order to make you more vulnerable. Start documenting all the things he says/does to you with dates, times. It'll be useful when you go to the cops and when you get a restraining order. Call an old friend or someone in your family and ask for help in getting you out. Then call a womens' crisis center right away. They can tell you exactly how to rid yourself of this guy.
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are you working? if so, you have the immediate means to find a place of your own, if not, you can get help to find somewhere safe. ask yourself is this what you want the rest of your life, being completely controlled and treading on eggshells? i don't think you do, you will find the courage, we all have the inner strength to do what seems so hard, you're worth so much more than this control freak, pack your things and go, you will have a much better life as you won't be living in fear, you will have your freedom back
Sorry to hear that. You should move on as soon as you can. He is not for you at all. If you stay with him you will regret a lot in short future. You can always rent a place to live, get or hope you have a full time job and start life your live to the full. Enjoy as much as you can as life is too short, you won't know and soon you will be an elderly lady ,sorry for being so honest but that is the truth. If you don't have children then even better. Get on your track and be happy.Feel free to talk
Hi coco...





sorry to hear things are not going well for you- i think the first thing you need to do is make a statement at the police station- get the violence reported- its just evidence against him in case you need it in the future, you didnt say if you were in uk or ireland but do seek help from professionals who look after women in violent situations





http://www.refuge.org.uk/


http://www.womensaid.org.uk/default.asp





or if you are in ireland


http://www.womensaid.ie/


http://www.nnwrss.ie/





i hope you can get someone to help you- good luck