Any advice for me about my marriage?

I met my husband online 3 years ago and we were married in a year and two months. I had always had bad luck with guys and was always hurt by the guys I truly wanted. I thought my husband was the most amazing guy in the world. I knew we had different interests but I didn't care because I saw him as honest, caring, hard working, smart, funny, reliable, and smoking hot. About a year ago (in November) we were at a wedding and I noticed him say something to some people at our table that kind of didn't make sense. Ever since then I've noticed it more and more. He has clear misconceptions about knowledge that is considered common knowledge or basic facts and sometimes he says things out in left field (like comments that don't fit with the conversation) or corny jokes that aren't funny. I never noticed him doing these things for two years. He also has a hard time accurately explaining the way something happened or remembering things that to me are sooo easy to remember.





All of these problems make me doubt his ability to be successful and they take away my faith and confidence in him as well as my attraction to him. He is very sweet, my family loves him, he works hard and always takes care of his responsibilities. He is supportive of me and loves me very much. I never noticed any of these things for two years and now I just feel like it is getting worse everyday. I'm afraid of social situations because of what he might say, but no one ever (except one friend) has ever said anything bad about his personality (however, they haven't been around him that much). He is neat and clean, doesn't break a promise to me, helps me with housework and would go out of his way for me in a heartbeat.





I also feel upset because I am a deep, philosophical, imaginative person and he is more take things with a grain of salt and let them roll off your back. Sometimes I find myself getting stuck when I try to get deep with him about religion, politics, philosophy, etc. He also sometimes finds things confusing that are so simple to me.





As I said, I never noticed any of this for two years. I know it was the honeymoon stage but I don't think I could miss someone being confused and making irrelevant comments. We go to therapy and I suggested that he get a psychological evaluation but the therapist doesn't think it is necessary. If anything he thinks I should go on OCD meds. Everyday I am more and more upset about this. I want to kill myself but I would never do that. I dream about being in a happier relationship and if I could I would fix things so I didn't feel so distant, detatched, and displeased. I don't know what to do...





Any adviceAny advice for me about my marriage?
Tell him to find someone who will respect and appreciate him. You obviously don't. Why waste his and your time?Any advice for me about my marriage?
well im an odd ball too and if my husband thought that about me id leave him your obviously not worth it if you cant see thru his uniqueness
lead in your drinking water can cause those symptoms of ';dumbness, memory issues';
i couldnt read this but i felt i should give you some advice...


...';keep his balls empty and his stomach full';
No idea.





2 points. yeah baby!!!!!! woot woot!!!!
He sounds like a good man and a good provider; honest forthright and supportive. Wow! Many women who have been in desperate situations would jump at the chance of finding someone so stable. The grass always seems greener.....until you get there. Do you love him? Are you willing to work through your doubts. Have you communicated to him how you feel? Have you considered counseling so you can have a third party evaluate your situation. Don't, do not throw in the towel on this relationship. Find a cognitive therapist to help you. Good luck.
the way you described your husband you should be happy he loves you and don't break his promises and don't break your heart i divorced because mine stayed drunk and wouldn't work and he would steal from me and hit me i had a black-eye once he would pull my hair call me names so your grumbling about someone who loves you
How are we supposed to answer this question if you don't tell us what he said? Tell us what the weird things that he said were so we can tell you if we think they are weird too.


I am curious, especially since your own doctor seems to think you are the one with the problem, not him.
It sounds like your hubby is a very nice man. I wish mine would do half of the things your hubby does. I think after living with someone for a long time they just starts to bug the hell out of you. Maybe you are just PMS-ing. I some times can't stand my husband that ever thing he does I want to just put my head down.
There may be a medical reason for your husband behavior. He actually seems like a really good guy and you come off and being selfish and thinking that everything is about you. Your husband needs help and you sound as if you are ready to end the marriage because its not perfect. Well I have news for you, there is no such thing as a perfect man. So he may not be as brain smart as you are but it seems that he has more common sense than you. If you let him go, you will live to regret it. Sometime life is not perfect and you have to take the good with the bad.Marriage is not Always with a fairy tale ending. You have to make the most of what you have.
I don't think the problem is with your husband. I think it's with you. You named all these wonderful things about him, yet you are feeling this way?? I think you are taking him for granted and thats sad.





To me he sounds like such a good man, why don't you just love him and support him as much as he does you.





If you ruin this marriage, you will live to regret it. Eventually you will end up with someone else, and the whole time you will have reminders and nightmares about wanting to be back with him, but by then it will be to late. If you can't love your husband and accept him how he is, then I think you owe it to him, to let him go so he can find a woman who will love him
It sounds like you are just a lot more intelligent than your husband! It can be a huge turn off, as intelligence is definitely sexy. What i don't understand is how you didn't notice this until 2 years down the line. Is it possible that he embarrassed you quite a lot at the wedding which had led you to check up on what he is saying in social situations since then?





Maybe no one else notices that you husband isn't the sharpest crayon in the box and that is the reason why no one else has commented on it.





Are you particularly concerned about whether people consider you an intelligent person? Because we often see our other half as a reflexion of ourselves, perhaps that is why his mistakes effect you so much?



The best advice I can give you is to make you aware that not everyone has the same common sense. I've learned this through my marriage as well. LOL It really isn't funny but its true. The reality of it could be that he just hasn't been exposed to situations the way you have so he doesn't know how to handle it. It's frustrating but you have to accept him the way he is. The one thing that men really stress about is being the provider...giving you the support you need, making sure the bills are paid, food on the table, gas in the car, etc. I think it is really great that he makes you feel loved and needed. That is one characteristic that is hard for some men when they have stress or worries of providing for his family. Also, life can be a great teacher when the honeymoon period is over. If you look closely, you may see that the two of you don't do the things you did before together. You have to keep in mind the reason you married him. What it was that attracted you to him. If he can't hold his own in topics of religion, politics, etc., then don't discuss them with him. He just may not be interested in those topics. You made a promise to him at the altar. In reality, there are a lot of worse things that he could be other than having no knowledge on subjects you like. Best wishes.