Sex before marriage? Looking for advice.?

I really could use some advice-





I have been dating a guy for a while now. (I'm 19 and he's 18 yrs old) He was a good friend of mine before we became a couple and we get along great, trust, and love each other. We've ';messed around'; only to stop short of sexual intercourse. We are both virgin and have discussed it together several times before and I'm really not sure on the matter-my heart says one thing and my head another.





In my heart I know I'll be with him forever, so it really shouldn't matter when we decide to have intercourse. Plus neither of us are religious so it's not a sin for us and we don't consider marriage a holy union.





But in my head I know I don't want to be socially stigmatized if someone found out, like if the protection failed and I happen to become pregnant. The consequences wouldn't effect just us, I mean, I would hate for my family to be frowned upon because I had premarital sex and people would say nonsense and blame my parents. I would hate to put my family through that.





It is complicated and I know it's silly of me to worry about this, and I greatly appreciate, and thank, anyone who uses their time to write a response to my plight.Sex before marriage? Looking for advice.?
First off you are way to young to be thinking about settling down. Im sorry but neither of you know what direction you want your lives to go in. Your goals and personalities are going to change over the next few years and chances are your going to realize y'all weren't meant to be. But to get back to your question you have to decide if the moment outweighs the risks. And be prepared of the possibility of him moving on after he gets what he wants.Sex before marriage? Looking for advice.?
Your head is perfect in guiding you.Follow it


The consequences will definitely effect your family especially your your younger sisters and brothers.It is not at all silly of you to consider against premarital sex.After all both of you, if get married, are going to have each other.That will be safe too.
This is what the Bible says about it. No doubt God teaches us to avoid it for a reason.





What鈥檚 Wrong With Premarital Sex?


http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040722a/ar鈥?/a>





What's So


Wrong With


Telephone Sex?


http://www.watchtower.org/e/20040222b/ar鈥?/a>





God Bless!
Ask yourself this, do you really want to have sex with him? If it is what you want, then what others think should not matter. If you do not want to have sex then he should respect your decision and not push it. It's between the 2 of you, no one else.
if it doesn't feel right for you then don't do it. when its right you will know.i was the same as you at your age and then i met a lad and i just knew it was right and that whatever happened i wouldn't regret it. that was 26 years ago and he is my husband(21 years married)
well if i found the man i truly loved, and of course he loved me back and we knew we would be together forever and get married, i would. i am not religious either. just make sure you use contraception, and no one needs to find out about it :)
it's all about your beliefs. If you both feel there's nothing wrong with it, then go ahead. If you'd both rather wait then wait. If it hasn't happened yet, there's a reason. Just give it a bit. You'll know when it's time.
If you do it right, no one is gonna know. . . and you will not end up pregnant or have an STD. good luck with your sexual experiences :)
Its not premarital sex if you don't plan on getting married.
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you've carefully weighed your options. I know that an unexpected pregnancy is the worst consequence to having sex with someone you love, and i faced the same dilemma with my girl friend years ago (same sitch I was the 18 year old). In my situation we were both separated from each other by circumstances that were out of our control. However, when we came back together it just was perfect, all the planning, preparation and worrying proved to be unnecessary and neither of us regret it (I know cause we're still together nearly 10 years after the fact).





It was about two years ago that she confessed to me that she had the same concerns as you do. She said it was just a matter of trust. And once she knew that I wouldn't be another random guy in her life and felt truly safe with me there were no more ';what ifs';, she could see herself with me for the long haul. Looking back at that time I didn't realize that I was being sized up as potential husband or father material. But in the years since, I've come to see what she saw in me...I wouldn't have left her alone if something had gone wrong.





So its not silly for you to worry its really very sensible. And since you are a sensible person then why don't you look at your potential partner and find out if you feel safe with him. If you do love him and truly trust him then I can't imagine a better way to express that love, and to crystallize your first time in both your memories.





Regardless of what you decide just remember to avoid regret and self doubt.
it depends how important you (and to a minor extent, your family) think it is to refrain from sex before marriage. you won't be a 'socail outcast' or anything, as it is socially acceptable, actually more like encouraged, to have sex before marriage. more and more young people are doing it - i know a lot of people who lost it when the were only 14 or 15.





honestly, do what you think is right, he won't pressure you and will wait for you, so do it when you think you are ready. don't worry about anything or anyone else. as long as you are ready, you are fine. and if your worried about pregnancy, make sure you use a condom AS WELL AS another form of contraception ie the pill.





your parents should back you in your decision - you are 19 years old, and have been with this guy for a while, who was also your friend beforehand. be honest with them, but be firm in your choice.





best of luck x
I contemplated the same thing for a long time and i did end up marrying the man...he had been with one other girl but never pushed me in anyway but you should definitely wait until your head is agreeing with your heart because even if you use every possible birth control and condom there is always a chance...i was a birth control baby...until you feel that your mature enough to accept responsibility for a child as well as the possibility of whatever you feel your parents would think if you got pregnant you should wait...until then keep messing around...and have fun doing it...
I say that if you are conflicted, then you should wait. I was around the same age as you, but we were already planning a wedding. I love that the 2 of us have never been with anyone else. The difference is, that I was completely sure...head %26amp; heart. If I wasn't, I would have waited. If you are going to spend the rest of your lives together, then what is the rush?