Just looking for any wedding/marriage jokes, advice on emceeing a wedding.I fully expect a GONG show...?

Any great ideas would help ......TIAJust looking for any wedding/marriage jokes, advice on emceeing a wedding.I fully expect a GONG show...?
';The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.';





I thought it was funny! It really is true though. I think most guys are scared, cause we know what happens if we miss their birthday!Just looking for any wedding/marriage jokes, advice on emceeing a wedding.I fully expect a GONG show...?
This married guy wasn't getting any from his wife and was really really horny, so he walks into a whore house to get himself a good f**k. On the inside he remembers that he's a bit short on cash so he says to the mistress:





- ';Listen, I only have five dollars, can you help me out?';


The lady says:


- ';Sure, go up the stairs and go in the door on the right.';


The guy goes up the stairs and in through the door. He sees a chicken sitting on a table. He is a little disappointed but he figures:


- ';Oh well you get what you pay for!';, and he screws that chicken to near death, there are feathers flying everywhere.





So the next day the guy is still hormy and he had a really great time with the chicken and decides to go back to the whorehouse. He says to the madam:





- ';Listen lady, I've only got two bucks today. Can you do anything at all for me?';


- ';Sure!'; says the madam. ';Go up the stairs and in the door on the left this time';.





The guy goes in through the door on the left and finds a bunch of guys staring through a two-way mirror at two beautiful lesbians having sex.





-';This is fantastic. Only two bucks for this!!'; the guy says to one of the other men. The other man says


- ';Yes, but you should have been here yesterday, there was guy in there ******* a chicken!';