Question for married people. I need advice on how marriage works. PLEASE?

yesterday i took my sister shopping for a dress to wear to her prom. we went an hour away to a really nice mall and i was gone from 4pm to 9:45pm. My husband first told me I couldnt go b/c it was too far, too much gas money/bridge toll,etc.Then after an arugurment, he decided that he would just come along. I told him he shouldnt come b/c its three girls dress shopping and to find something else to do. (He would have ended up bored and complaining).He doesnt have family here and doesnt usually hang out with friends. If i go anywhere without him, hes constantly pestering me to come home by a certain time, or he rushes me. When he is working or doing anything, he doesnt bother me/call me/ ask where i am. I feel trapped b/c whenever he is home he has to be up my ***. Is this because he has no outside interests/friends of his own?? Is this controlling?? If you are married, does your spouse go out and do whatver they want, or do they always stay home with you?? Do you specify when you will be home or ask permission to do something?? What if what you are doing costs money, do you ask first? How does this work.??? PLEASE HELPQuestion for married people. I need advice on how marriage works. PLEASE?
Yes this is controlling behavior. My wife and I spend a lot of time together but if she wants to go shopping or out to dinner or even party with the girls, I support her decision.





We do ask each other's permission to an extent. If, for example, I wanted to go play golf on a Saturday afternoon, I would tell her what I want to do and ask her if we have anything going on. If there is something important to her that requires me to be with her then I'll just plan to golf another time.





We typically let each other know when we'll be home if we go out. So if she goes out for drinks with the girls she will usually tell me she'll be home around 10 or 11 or whatever and on the rare occasion that it might turn out to be later she calls... not because she's on a leash but because she won't want me to worry.





She has her own money and I have mine. I pay all the bills and she is welcome to spend her money on whatever she wants and if she runs short, (which rarely happens) then I give her whatever she needs.





My grandmother once told me that a good relationship is when two people can integrate two seperate lives, while letting the winds of heaven dance between them. Life is too short to waste effort on controlling someone or allowing yourself to be controlled.Question for married people. I need advice on how marriage works. PLEASE?
You should be able to go where you want (within reason of course)


It is respectful to try to give an approximate time if he is waiting for you at home for some reason other than just to keep him company.


Me and my spouse just say I'll be out for a couple of hours. See ya soon.


That should be good enough.


Your husband does sound controlling to me.


People in a marriage need other interests and friends to have a healthy well balanced life.


It sounds like when he is busy at work he is fine without you, so he should be able to make some plan to amuse himself when he is alone at home. There is always something to do.


I believe that only boring people get bored.
well in my family unit we really enjoy each others company and don't want to go anywhere without the other usually but when I do get to go out just myself with another female friend he gets a little hurt I can see it in his eyes but I still go if he can't trust me while we are not together then why can he when we are together


that is just how I feel about it
umm yeah your husband sounds controlling! My husband doesnt tell me what to do, how to spend money, or when to come home and I dont tell him what to do either. Yea we tell eachother what we are doing and might call to check in if we are gone longer than planned, but it doesnt bother us. Being crammed up eachothers *** in a relationship is incrediably unhealthy and does more damage than good. Good luck.
I've been married for 20 yrs. be careful of what you are considering.if hubby did get a life, and avoided you...might be a nightmare. you should be up front with him, if you want things differently. and the money, was never a problem, cuz there is never much left over after we pay bills lol god bless and take care.
My husband and I are friends. We communicate. We don't boss each other around. We usually hang together with friends. But now that we have a 3 year old he gets his time and I get mine if we don't have a sitter. I do not ask permission for anything and neither does he. We respect each other and ';ask'; in a different way. Like, hey Kim asked if I would meet her for happy hour do you care? It is healthy to give each other space.





If you can't communicate with him or if he always seems like a pest then your marriage will not last. Do not have children with him. It will only get worse. Figure it out now.
Sounds like he is very insecure as well as very controlling, not a good combination.


I would talk to a marriage therapist about setting boundries in your relationship with each other about what is okay and what is not.
Today is actually my 5 year anniversary and I would be ecstatic if my wife went dress shopping (for someone else) for 4 hours on a random night. I enjoy time apart from my wife, and she enjoys to be away from me. Nobody can spend all their time with one person. You will wind up hating the sight of each other. But we both have friends and family to spend time with independently so I would just call a buddy and hang out, watch a ball game and have some beers.


My wife and I discuss big financial purchases or spending over $200 on social outings but rarely does one of us make a fuss over the other spending money. Your husband seems to be a bit of a loser, I'm sorry to say. If he has no friends and can't tolerate being alone for a little while, he is naturally going to latch on to you in every way, all the time. He MUST be able to allow you to have things and do things that are entirely your own. Marriage requires sharing of just about everything but does not require that you give up all things individual for the sake of being a married couple. From his perspective, if he does not have you, he has nothing. So he probably fears letting you have your own life because maybe you will realize you don't want to be with him, or he thinks you are going to cheat on him. Trust is the issue here, not control.