Any ones advice for me as not i think i should owe it to my marriage?

to work it out been married for 28years met at 15years old husband same age 46years old the problem is i had no contact with the other guy and went back to my husband to try and make it work i dont have any chemisty with my husband in the sexaul way but i heard you can get it back but i do still love him i know i do.Does any one out there been to marriage counselling at all cause i think i owe it to him to do this my husband is very in love with me since the day we met he adores me.The other man is very young 15years younger than me and i need to let him go in my heart if i want my marrige to work the advice i am after would anyone out there be able to advise me to work my marrige out or go follow my heart i am in love with two men one my husband and the other young man and advice would be greatAny ones advice for me as not i think i should owe it to my marriage?
You are making a huge mistake not trying to make your marriage work out. You have been married for 28 years and the relationship has changed. There was a time you were crazy about him too. What you are feeling for this new guy is what every person feels when they are having an affair or in a NEW relationship. Its the newness of it. You have physiological changes that actually increase chemicals in your body and make you feel on a constant high...hence that ';soul mate'; feeling so many people have when they are cheating. ANY person and i mean ANY person can be the perfect ';other'; man or woman. It's a false one dimensional character. Anyone can be sweet and charming and complimentary when they aren't living with you, taking care of your children, paying bills and living the day to day life together. The fastest way to take away the magic of an affair is to actually live together. It wont be so romantic when you're cleaning his dirty underwear.I know you feel magic with this new guy, but know...it WILL pass and become just like what you have now. It might take 1-2 years or it could happen in a matter of months, but it will happen. Try and save your marriage!! This man loves and adores you and that is hard to find. You have such an investment there. The grass is not greener......Letting the other man go will be very hard. There will be some very difficult down times for you. You have to do it cold turkey, no contact AT ALL. Every contact you have will backslide months of recovery. Go to counseling, couple and solo. If your marriage doesn't work let it be because you tried everything and it just failed on its own merit. Then when you meet someone new and fall love there will be no ';what ifs';. You can start that relationship without all the baggage, it will be a fresh new start. Good luck to you.Any ones advice for me as not i think i should owe it to my marriage?
you have to know what you want for it to work. If you follow your heart are you going to be happy starting a relationshuip all over again? Why did you stray from your husband? Look at the answers to that question and see if there is anything you can do to fix that.
yes, you owe it to your husband. honor your vows and do all that you can to save your marriage. love is a choice. chose to make your husband a priority and cut off all contact with the other guy. try marriage counseling. don't be selfish- marriage takes effort and communication. if you can't stay loyal and work through your problems- instead of running away, then you'll never have a long, lasting, fulfilling relationship.





good luck. i wish you all the best!
U being selfish...We all are to some extent..This isnt about those two men.U need to work on yourself,b/c your looking for something that's not in either men. If you want your marriage you gotta let the other go...Just hope you serious about keeping it. Yes..counseling always help...Good luck,Remember what goes around comes around...
What a hard decision to have to make, but one that has to b made indeed! Here are my thoughts, I'm no counsellor though. Your lucky too have a husband that loves n adores u, atleast u can trust him n know that he will always be there for u and will never do anything to hurt u. Trust me, there aren't many men out there that posses this unique quality. Secondly, after been married for so long it is usual for a marriage to become boring. Find things that u have never done before together and spice it up a bit . Go on holidays, join other couples n do things together where possible, make life interesting and then the sexual part will follow automatically as u both begin to redisover yourselves n each other. The other man.... well.. well..well.., no guarantees that he will be there for you, yes maybe now, but what about in 10 yrs down the track. The grass is always greener on the other side, but if ur husband treats u like u want to be treated and loves u unconditionally u can get the chemistry back. I would say try n work on your marriage, once u loose it, it's gone for good and you will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. So make sure u choose wisely. Choose ur love n then love ur choice. Good luck n all the best.
You say that you do still love your husband, ';but there is no chemistry right now with him in the sexual way.'; You need to examine the reasons you ';love'; your husband. If there are just conveniences, then you may not be in love with him at all - just secure and full of gratitude. If so, it's unfair of you to keep him from being truly loved by another woman. If you are in-love with your husband, you should start marriage counseling/sex therapy alone first. Then bring him into later.


You said you need to let the other man go, ';if you want your marriage to work.'; So, imagine life without your husband - period. If that seems unbearable (cause you can't have it both ways) then stay and try, and try until you succeed.