Is it naive or stupid to wait till marriage to have sex? For a guy? I'm a 20 yo male virgin. Advice?

Sure; take the risk of getting a girl you don't want to marry pregnant or get a disease that will take days or more to recover.


Have sex with some girl who will expect that to mean you're entirely and exclusively hers and try to end that relationship.


Or have sex with a girl then find out she's got a boyfriend or husband and now your in deep pooh.





Sex is fun, but having it outside of marriage comes with too many consequences.Is it naive or stupid to wait till marriage to have sex? For a guy? I'm a 20 yo male virgin. Advice?
if you and your future wife are both virgins until marraige, neither of you will be dissapointed by the end.Is it naive or stupid to wait till marriage to have sex? For a guy? I'm a 20 yo male virgin. Advice?
It is not stupid to wait till marriage. Just think how wonderful it will be for you and your wife to be the first and only with each other. Just knowing there is no one on earth that has touched either of you in such a personal manner is spine chilling. We most definately should teach our children to respect themselves and not to have sex with anybody till you are married.
No by you being a virgin you are honoring God with your body. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. You will be so much more blessed by keeping that way.
Absolutely not stupid. Do not listen to people who would like to take over your thinking for you. Your decision shows that you are a thoughtful, reflective person who is trying to figure out what it really means to be a human being rather than what popular media tells us we are.





People are not to be used as toys or lab rats to be toyed and experimented with for pleasure or curiosity even if they are willing.





Make your own decision for your own reasons. Be true to yourself.
I waited, I'm very happily married. To confuse things creates distrust... Absolutely none of the marriages I know are better for having prior relationships, except for those few who truly have learned to love without lust.





The Spirit is all one, let your love for others be principally through that...





Bodies are for the development of the species in degrees of the respective kingdoms, and should not be construed as the be all, end all, at any moment. Current times call for a trustworthy monogamy for most to be happiest in this life, other times require different things, but this is our time.





God bless.
It may be naive, but not necessarily stupid. However, there are a few things you may not have considered. If you're like many people your age, you may not marry until you're 30 or older. Do you really wish to go without sexual intimacy for another decade?





As for the whole ';sex outside of marriage is a sin,'; that's a crock and I think you know it. If the godsters genuinely believed it then there wouldn't be nearly so many divorces.





In the end, you have to go with what works for you. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But don't hold back out of fear. It's a waste of life to use fear as an excuse to avoid risking your heart.
Just have sex already, you only have one life. Live it.
it is better to wait and not be confused by your feelings than to do it and wonder for the rest of your life why you didn't wait.
It's only naive or stupid if you consider it to be so. I don't. I think it is an admirable thing to do, and very difficult. My advice would be to keep doing what you're doing. You have no idea how much religious girls dig that guys wait for their spouses. You will earn major hubby points with your future wife if she shares your beliefs.
Yes, because contrary to what you have been taught, sex outside of marriage is NOT a sin. The only sin is if you have sex with a married women.





';SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS A SIN';





Is it? Fundamentalists would have us believe it. But the Bible is unclear. In Exodus, chapter 20, we read the Ten Commandments, and are told that we should not commit adultery. Adultery however is not defined as simply having sex outside of marriage. It's defined as having sex with a married person. Nothing is said to prohibit sexual relations between two unmarried people. In fact, if we look in the book of Leviticus, we are given a list of every situation in which we should not have sex. We're not to have sex with married people, or with family members, or with animals. We are not, however, prohibited from having sex with an unmarried person who is not in our family.





A few people have interpreted Deuteronomy 22:13-21 to be against pre-marital sex, but when we actually read what's there we see it's about lying and bringing disgrace to one's father, not about sex. In these verses a man is given a bride by another man, and then goes to court to claim the woman was not a virgin. The verses then say that the bride's father must prove she was a virgin. If he can prove it, the new husband is fined for bringing shame upon the bride's family by claiming he was given a faulty bride. If she cannot prove she's a virgin, then she is put to death for being a harlot while still in her father's house. Notice that there is nothing said about the man not being a virgin, and there are no equal punishments brought against men. Why? Because this is not about having sex. It's about a woman who is still considered property, meaning she lives in her father's house and is being given to another man (in exchange for money), taking it upon herself to sleep around and thus destroying her value as a bride worth selling. In this case, the woman having sex brings shame to her family by making the father out to be a liar when he accepts money from a man who wants to bed down with a virgin. In short, while having sex outside of marriage is not forbidden by the Bible, the women not being honest about it brought dishonor to her father, which is a sin according to the Ten Commandments.





Another verse, often quoted by itself to condemn sex outside of marriage, is Exodus 22:16, where we read ';If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall give the marriage present for her, and make her his wife.'; But when we look at the verse immediately following, we get a whole different picture. In verse 17 we read, ';If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equivalent to the marriage present for virgins.'; Just like the Deuteronomy reference we can clearly see this is not about sex, but rather is about destroying a commodity - a virgin daughter who can be sold for a price. In these Exodus verses it's spelled out even more clearly. There is no mention of immorality, nor is the man who seduces the woman penalized for having sex before marriage - only for having sex with a virgin, and even then his only penalty is to pay the father what the woman would have cost as a virgin.





Some places in the bible, such as Mark 7:21, state that ';fornication'; is a sin. Fundamentalists like to interpret that as meaning ';sex outside of marriage.'; It's not true. The Greek translation identifies ';fornication'; as being any ';illicit (illegal) sexual activity.'; However, as we saw above, God did not mention sex between two unmarried people as being illicit. Interesting. And, in fact, we read in 2 Samuel chapter 5 where some of God's greatest leaders, such as King David (whom God called a man ';after his own heart';), had hundreds of wives and hundreds of unmarried concubines (women kept in the house for the purpose of having sex). None of these were considered sins. It is only when David had sex with another man's wife (2 Samuel 11:1-5) that he committed the sin of adultery.





';SMOKING IS A SIN';





Like other so-called sins on the Fundamentalist list, there is no mention of smoking in the Bible. Rather Fundamentalist minds have decided that smoking is a sin based on 1 Corinthians 3:16, where we are told that our bodies are the temple of God. However, what most Fundamentalists forget, or never knew to begin with, is that in Matthew 15:11 Christ specifically says that it's not what goes into the mouth that defiles the body; rather it's what comes out - such as hate, evil speech, and lies. see fundys.com for more info
Well, are you Christian? If so you should know not to.





The commandment thou shall not commit adultery is rather clear. If you trust that you won't turn to a different woman after her then what's stopping you from getting married?





I hope you take my advice on waiting for marriage.
Do what you want. Freewill is good.
It's neither naive nor stupid. If a man does not feel ready to start his sexual activities before marriage, there will be no harm done.
I don't think it's stupid or naive at all - I'm also a 20 yr old and I've decided to wait until marriage. I think it's something you have to decide for yourself and just accept. Thinking you're bound to do so because of religion is one thing, but actually believing in it and abiding by it is another.





I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in this - I was getting frustrated that people saw waiting as an old-fashioned or outdated notion, but knowing that others share this viewpoint is reasurring.
Would you buy a car without kicking a few tires?
I think it's stupid to be running around on Maury to find out who is the father of your seven children that you got while test driving and crashing.
I've asked a related question two times in the past year and one half. Both times I asked if anyone wished that they had intercourse before they did, and in only one case did I ever hear anyone say they wish they had done it sooner.





For those who waited until they had marriage, not one person said boy they wished they had sex earlier.





It's only something you regret while you are waiting, or after you have started, if you can't get it again. But, if you wait for the right person, you will be glad that you waited.





What you are experiencing is the world teaching you that you have to give in to your desires and that it's unhealthy to wait.





Advantages to waiting


Virtually no risk of STD or AIDs


No child created outside of a marriage


Your first time will be extra special and much more memorable
I think it's a personal choice. It can be damaging if you only do it because others expect it of you. But if it's something you want for yourself, then to wait or not to wait should be your choice.
Not stupid at all. You have saved yourself from helping produce an unwanted child and getting various sexual diseases. Some deadly.
And they say the cost to being a religious person out weighs the benefits of finding out what happens after we die.





Enjoy all the sex you can while you are young. As we age the equipment deteriorates.
Looks like there's a wide range of opinion on this subject. I'm with those who say wait til marriage. I wish there were more young men (and women) like you.
The idea doesn't have to be marriage. Society just uses that institution to define what you should be looking for. A loving special relationship with someone you want to be connected to forever on the deepest level imaginable. That is what sex should be, a deep spiritual connection. If you need that to be defined first with a state and/or church sanctioned piece of paper, then that's ok too.
What if you marry her and she sucks in bed? And I don't mean in a good way. LOL thumbs down? You people are insane.