My marriage is getting decided with a Veterinary doctor and I am disturbed and looking for advice.?

My parents are about to finalise my marriage with a Vet doctor having good practice in USA and excellent ( rich ) family background. This guy has spoken with me just few times and has seen some of my photos , he is sold on me and thinks I am beautiful , smart etc and he said he in any case wants to marry me. I get surprised , we hardly know each other , no process of understanding has taken place. We do not know our mind sets and attitudes and how he can decide to marry me ?





WIth due respect to his profession , I will not like to have his patients as emergency cases ! Imagine you get a SOS call at midnight and it is owner of donkey who ( i.e. Donkey ) has a pain and not behaving properly ! On top of this , my hubby wants to pursue his studies in Veterinary Gynac.





He told me yesterday that he has seen my yahoo questions and answers which itself is proof of my intelligence. This is too much ! In limited time available I post whatever I think at that point of time and should not be a criteria to judge me.





How guys can take important decisions like marriage so easily ? If I turn down this case my relationship with parents would get severed. What should I do ?My marriage is getting decided with a Veterinary doctor and I am disturbed and looking for advice.?
run like the wind, marrieage you be decide by you and your partner only , i know parents like to get involve to assure youll get in a good fam , but eventually they are not the ones that would be putting up with choosen husband , i say you talk to them and let them know how you feel and tell your doc you need more time to get to know him , that would give you time to make a better decisionMy marriage is getting decided with a Veterinary doctor and I am disturbed and looking for advice.?
No one can give answer for this except yourself.


1. Have you talked to your parents about what's your expectations?


2.Did your parents select the person of your character?


3.This is between families and personal issues and hearts involved so think thousand times and talk with your parents before taking a decision and I hope you have a happy and prosperous life.








Your's lovingly,


M.J
If you think your husband is going to get a call in the middle of the night about a misbehaved donkey, your marriage is the least of your problems. Holy cow...I don't even know where to begin to start. I can try to begin by saying that we do not have many donkeys here in the USA . I am wondering if you have ever been here and if you may get a HUGE culture shock when you do.





As for your question about the man and your amazement that he could decide to marry you so quickly, do you wonder the same about your parents choices? Arranged marriages are ARCHAIC and barbarian. The fact that your parents are ready to marry you off to a stranger is actually mind boggling to me. I am not surprised that the man will marry you....a lot of men only want a nice looking wife they can sleep with and don't want to have to be bothered with much more than that. If this vet is going for an arranged marriage, I assume he is from your culture and migrated to the USA. If not he must be pretty awful looking to have to resort to a mail order bride since woman are a dime a dozen here.
Your parents will get over it. They dont have to sleep with him or kiss him make love with him..YOU DO...RUN...if your parents severe it OH WELL one day they will get over it.





LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU!
you dont have to marry him.you dont have any obligation to marry a man you dont love.your parents wont live with him,you will lf you marry him...so it's up to you to decide what you want for yourself.
First the easy stuff:





Unless he has a private practice in an extremely rural area, a vet's not going to get emergency calls in the middle of the night. Such calls normally go to emergency veterinary hospitals that are open on nights and weekends when normal hospitals are closed.





Now the hard stuff:





It sounds like you need to explain to your parents that we're living in the 21st century, and it's not reasonable for them to try to force an arranged marriage upon you. You say the relationship with your parents will be severed if you refuse. This is hard. Tell them that you love and respect them, and that it would destroy you if they severed their relationship with you, but that it would also ruin your life if you were forced into a loveless marriage, and that as far as you're concerned, the matter is not open for debate.





Be strong. This is not going to be easy.
Hope he dosent see this posting...well if you dont like..just say 'no'...it would be better for him and for you


Peace
stop marri him and marri me
Are you really prepared. are you in the age of getting married and settled down. first think over this and then decide if you are looking for somebody like this.this is the most important decision of your life and think and decide
Stop sounding as if you are in a soup, or as if you are on a frying pan and about to jump into the fire with no other choices at hand.


If I already sound rude then pardon me. I took the liberty to sound rude to shock you :)


1. Your marriage is being decided and you are not happy about it.


-talk to your parents in unambiguious straight words and inform them about your disapproval. They might take offence, and may as well be hurt, but that is going to be temporary.


2. You are not sure you like this guy or not.


-go by your heart. Listen to your intuition


3. You are not sure you should marry this guy or not.


-tell this guy that you are not ready for marriage yet. Tel him that you hare a few goals to achieve before you gave a serious thought about marriage, and that it might take quite some time. Dont hand him over a lie. I am sure you definitely have some goals to achieve. Always stick to truths. It pays with dividends


4. He thinks you are beautiful and intelligent (and you seem to be shocked when people say you are intelligent and beautiful)


-it is time you started accepting the fact that you indeed are intelligent and beautiful. I had the honour and privilege of reading most of your recent questions, including the one about SSRI+SNRI+Benzo, and I know that you are intelligent. As for knowing about your looks, I havent seen you or even your pic, but I have a strong feeling that you are. For that matter every female is beautiful.


You must learn to accept compliments


5. You said you dont understand how can anyone fall in in love without knowing the other person for long?


-welcome to the world of human mind, behaviour, and human emotion. It is a mystery land.


It is quite possible for him to reinforce his love for you after reading your questions. Human mind invents its own permutations and combinations in love and hatred


6. You feel you are in dilemma.


-No, you are not in any dilemma. You have clear choices-


a) to marry him


b) not to marry him


You are scared to pick a choice.





Best wishes.
It sounds like your parents will be upset with you if your turn down this proposal because they lose out on getting their daughter married to someone who is rich. An ';excellent'; family background does not ONLY equate to having money, which is what most of you Indians seem to think. Money=good people. It's not true. However, a guy who is a vet would certainly interest me, as I am a serious animal lover, I would be very much attracted to someone who felt the same way and someone who helped and loved animals through their work. And it's good he wants to settle in India, because India needs more vets, more people to care for India's animals......And lastly, arranged marriages suck. get to know this guy FIRST, and then decide whether you actually like him and can bear spending your life with him, not for the sake of your (greedy) parents (money, status, rich, ALL BAKWAAS), but for your sake...
Every girl in India who is waiting for an arranged marriage decided by her parents undergoes this stage.





I have been there and done that . I don't know I rejected 5 guys before deciding on my husband. And surprisingly all the six guys were pretty confident they like me a lot and want to marry me.





I think in your case the hesitation is due to his profession ';Vet Doc'; believe me even I had pretty silly reasons to reject the five guys which looked pretty important at that time but now seem silly and my husband makes fun of me when I tell him those stories. But he is happy I did that :)





Just go with your gut feeling we have no other choice for me I just knew when I met my husband it was so spontaneous and I don't regret my decision at all. ALL THE BEST to you.
Talk to your mother in seclusion in detail with well thought plan what to ask her %26amp; how to convince. Tell her that at last the final 'yes' or 'no' has to be decided by you only, not by your parents %26amp; he who has not at all seen you. First, take her in full confidence politely, sweetly, softly %26amp; slowly %26amp; after that ask her to convince your father tactfully. They can't behave like dictators. You don't know much detail about him %26amp; are depending on your parents' supplied informations in a short period of time. This is not the way marriage plan is finalised. After all, it is question of your long married life of about 5 - 6 decades %26amp; so, you must have a final say in the selection procedure. If selection process is perfect by not ignoring even a single important point , no post wedding problem crops up. Your apprehensions are quite genuine ones %26amp; you have full right to clarify everything, not leaving any stone unturned. Why have you opened your Yahoo Qs/As to him ? On the basis of few Qs/As one can't judge about one's personality. You can tell him what you have in your mind frankly without any reservation. You must be 'bold enough' to express openly at least to your parents in absence of anyone else without caring about so called relations between you %26amp; your parents. Your parents must favour you as they're not your enemies. Relations can not be hostage of your marrying him or not or anything else ? Even in married life on many occasions this quality is greatly helpful when you have to take critical decisions. Of course, discussions with others are useful %26amp; one should not take critical decisions quickly without thinking deeply considering all pros %26amp; cons of the same. You must have ideas of the husband of your dream. Write down all requisite qualifications after thinking deeply %26amp; when he contacts next, tell him the same frankly. It is decision of your long life, you shouldn't surrender so easily. Not all guys take decision of marriage so easily. It is a fact that most of the guys want to marry so called beautiful %26amp; fairy like girls irrespective of qualities %26amp; etiquettes but girls must be wise %26amp; bold enough to explore good qualities of them clearing all doubts before finally accepting the proposals.


Don't marry for next six months.
never marry someone just to make your parents happy.





they will be badly hurt if everything goes wrong and you people want divorce after one or 2yrs.





No hurry in marriage, take your time.





never marry under pressure. it wont work. marriage is not about making someone happy for a time being, its question of spending your whole life with someone, having kids, being typical indian wife, doing all that, cooking, washing, cleaning, and side by maintaining your professional life. if you don't love your man you can't do all this.





Divorce is the worst thing can happen to someone. specially an indian girl. and will be even worst for your parents bcz they are pressurizing you.
just show him this post...


nice step to insult someone publicity .. if he will read this he will understand what are u... and if he will still wanna marry u.. think a lot...before deny him...